Monday, October 14, 2013

Going To The Happiest Place On Earth!

Hello all!! I am on vacation until October 19th - what follows may not be humor (assuming any of it ever is) or commentary - this is my version of journaling.

DORY, 'Finding Nemo': Hey, look. "Esc-a-pay". I wonder what that means? That's funny, it's spelled just like the word "escape."

Zippity do dah, I was invited to join my Brother and his family on their family vacation, and I jumped at the chance. The 'Haunted Mansion', 'Pirates of the Caribbean', people wearing animal costumes in 90 degree temps sweating like a 'Furry' at a convention on the surface of the sun. OMG, what's not to like?

October 11, 2013: We took Amtrak's Auto-Train to Florida. SO FREAKIN COOL. I was like a kid in anticipation of the train ride. People just don't take trains anymore. I'm thinking about 'North By Northwest'. (No, not the West/Kardashian creation.) Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint...What a hot combination. 'Strangers on A Train'? Farley Granger, Robert Walker. "I'll kill your wife if you kill my father...crisscross"...

Yeah, I have a Hitchcock obsession...

We drove down to Lorton, VA to load the car on the train and make the 17 hour trip.

Because my niece is ten, we were placed in the 'coach - family car'. Seating in the coach car looked like first class on a plane. 'Yeah' I thought, 'I can sleep in that...'

The first thing I noticed were the Mom's yelling to their families (that were seated in different rows) like they were in their own home living rooms! HEY BRITTANY, WHAT GAME ARE YOU PLAYING NOW? HEY JOHN, DID YOU GET NEW MEDICATION FOR THAT RASH? JUNIOR, DID YOU MAKE BOOM BOOM IN YOUR DIAPY? 

Freakin A (keeping it clean for the kiddies) - You're in public people....Come on!

At 5PM we had dinner in the dining room. Little tables, plastic plates that look like real plates. I was giddy with delight. Where was Cary Grant to light my fake cig? Dinner was surprisingly good, and we enjoyed ourselves.

Then it was time to attempt to sleep. Seating may have looked like first class on a plane, but it felt more like a seat from Lindbergh's 'Spirit of St. Louis'. It was quite uncomfortable.

The heat was cranked (perhaps for the old people aboard that were flocking to Florida for the winter) and the coach car was hot, stuffy and uncomfortable. After what felt like eternity, I gave up on the dream of sleep and relocated to the lounge car. Have you ever wondered what it's like to ride on the head of a rocket (a la Dr. Strangelove)? In the front of a train at 3:37AM I'm Slim Pickins whooping it up on the way to oblivion.

The arrival in Sanford FL has a blurry dreamy quality to it and I don't trust myself to recount it for you...So let's just say that we arrived!

Hakuna Matata!


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A writer exercising the writing muscle.