Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Un-Productive Tuesday...

9 AM: Get coffee. Fire up laptop and sit in front of it. Tick…tick…tick...Nothing...

9:05 AM: Lets see what's happening in the world today. View online news sites. The entire west coast has brush fires. Not good. Awww, cute puppy…

9:20 AM: Come on writing muscle!! Spark!! Nope. I think it needs electro shock therapy. Maybe coffee shock therapy. Go and get another cup.

9:30 AM: How did getting coffee take ten minutes? Ugh. Sit in front of laptop. Lets see what is happening in entertainment. Go to the TMZ website.

9:31 AM:
Alec Baldwin fighting? Now why? This man needs anger management classes. Or to move away from an area loaded with photographers.

Miley Cyrus likes to twerk. Big fucking deal. What is the problem with her tongue? Why is she always sticking it out? Is that suppose to be sexy? Maybe it's a facial tic. She looks like the Tasmanian Devil in heat. She needs to stop. Didn't her parents tell her that her face will freeze that way? I think her parents forgot to tell her a lot of things. Maybe she's trying to cash in on Gene Simmons shtick. Gene needs to talk to her and make her stop.

Which Kardashian is now pregnant? And why do I care?

Who the hell is Vicki Gunvalson? Oh…a reality show. I don't watch those. I know people who write those shows, so they are not reality…at all.

10 AM: Take the dogs for a walk and examine dog poo as I pick it up. Yep, that's poo. Moving on…

10:20 AM:  Sit in front of the laptop…maybe I need some white noise. Put on the TV…Pharaoh's secrets? No, I'd watch that. QVC? Okay, that looks like white noise. That'll work…

10:25 AM: Buy a pair of shoes on QVC.

10:35 AM: What? Phone lines are really busy? Selling out! OMG I need that cheesecake!

10:36 AM: Buy cheesecake on QVC. Consider turning the channel.

10:45 AM: Buy something called 'Poo-Pourri' so no one smells my poo when in the bathroom. Nifty.

10:46 AM: Turn off the TV. Turn on Pandora. Foot taping to 80's tunes.

10:50 AM: Get out of the chair and start dancing around to Bon Jovi. 'La, la, Living on a prayer….'

11 AM: Seriously out of breath from spontaneous cardio workout…Dripping sweat on the laptop as I power down. Face purple. Breathing heavy. Need a nap...

2 comments:

  1. STOP THE PRESSES!!!

    What's this?

    I need to report this to "the man"

    you sweat? or is it sweated? either way, this is news

    :) and far more entertaining than Miley's twerking.

    speaking of twerking...someone said that at a staff meeting. I thought it was a joking blur of tweeting while working.
    DOH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes - I sweat, but it is NEVER intentional. The Twerk is a 'sexual' rump maneuver. I suppose it's value depends on which end of the twerk you are on!

      Thanks for visiting my blog!

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A writer exercising the writing muscle.